I apparently have a knack for picking cashiers. Yesterday I stopped in Wal-mart to pick up ribbon boxes and Zone bars. On the end of an aisle near the Zone bars were lip balm with the O'Connor Panthers logo on them. I thought they might make a cute little "I thought of you" gift for Christian and Mark, who both graduated from that high school, and since we will see them in St. Louis in a couple weeks I picked a few up.
The cashier, a young man of 20 or so, rings up the lip balms and says to me...."so...do you go there?" ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I often get comments about how I don't look old enough to have sons as old as they are, etc. I got carded when buying beer or wine at the grocery store until I was 35 years old (like I bought these $200 worth of groceries to hide the six pack). One time, again when I was 35 or so, I was stopped going into a club with Stacy and asked for my ID. But high school? Do I really look young enough for high school? When I told him by sons graduated from O'Connor he didn't think that the school was old enough to have graduates yet. I told him that my oldest graduated in 2001 which led him to say, "Oh...that was like 10 years ago." Good thing I gave him the exact change.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Out of the mouths of....cashiers
Monday Hannah and I were out and about at two different Home Depot's and a Lowe's searching for pegboard and accessories for said pegboard for my girl cave. At the second Home Depot (1604 & Culebra) we were having a very nice shopping experience. A new "race car" cart, everyone being friendly and helpful...very nice. And then it was time to checkout.
The cashier was an older woman [older than me :-)] and Asian. She quietly said to me that Hannah looked Asian. I said she was born in China. She seemed to connect with Hannah on that level, but Hannah wasn't buying it and started acting like a baby. Maybe she knew what was coming (although she was probably just tired of Mommy's shopping). The cashier then asked if Hannah speaks English, told me I "picked a cute one" and then asked if my husband was okay with having an Chinese baby.
Now, I do not believe this lady meant to upset me or even understood how rude she was. But it did remind me that the time is here that I am going to have to be better prepared to deal with these kinds of comments. I could ignore them before, but now Hannah hears them. And she is watching how I react. That's why I didn't say to the cashier what I was thinking. Of course she speaks English...she is an American. I didn't pick her out like picking out a dress or a new pair of shoes. She was assigned to us by the same Chinese government that created circumstances where baby girls are left at the gate of an orphanage when they are a week old. That God spoke to me over and over telling me my daughter was in China, that I was obedient to His calling in urging to my Christian husband to consider such an outrageous plan, and that he was lead to believe that this calling was from God and we made the trip to Hannah together, in every possible way. That he is now "Daddy" and that he is beyond "okay" with being the center of the universe to a precious little girl who joined our family through the miracle of adoption.
The fact is my daughter doesn't look like me. I know it. She knows it. At Disney they have refillable cups at the resorts to use in the food court. They were basically all the same cup with three different colors of lids/handles: black, red and yellow. Hannah picked the black because it matches her hair (she is all about the matching lately). I had to have the red one because I have red hair. Stacy got the yellow one because it matched his head.
Hannah loves to look at the scrapbook of our trip to China. We knows she is adopted and when she meets someone new one of the first things she says is that she was born in China. She doesn't understand all of what that means yet, but she knows as much as she can probably take in at three. But the need for me to finish working on her life book is more urgent. I'm going to start with an "ABC" life book that is age appropriate. It will be her book about her life and how she came to our family. It will be a way to get the discussion going, for her to get familiar with adoption language. A book that will tell her over and over how much we love her, how much God loves her and how much a part of her forever family she is. I have done some writing and planning for an older life book, to talk about birth parents and abandonment and Chinese laws, but I need to get something done now that can grow with her questions.
Do I need to acknowledge every rude/awkward/inappropriate comment a stranger (or acquaintance) makes? No. But I do need to be ready to answer Hannah's questions, which could come at any time. So I'm going to be ready. After all, that's what mothers (and former girl scouts) do.
The cashier was an older woman [older than me :-)] and Asian. She quietly said to me that Hannah looked Asian. I said she was born in China. She seemed to connect with Hannah on that level, but Hannah wasn't buying it and started acting like a baby. Maybe she knew what was coming (although she was probably just tired of Mommy's shopping). The cashier then asked if Hannah speaks English, told me I "picked a cute one" and then asked if my husband was okay with having an Chinese baby.
Now, I do not believe this lady meant to upset me or even understood how rude she was. But it did remind me that the time is here that I am going to have to be better prepared to deal with these kinds of comments. I could ignore them before, but now Hannah hears them. And she is watching how I react. That's why I didn't say to the cashier what I was thinking. Of course she speaks English...she is an American. I didn't pick her out like picking out a dress or a new pair of shoes. She was assigned to us by the same Chinese government that created circumstances where baby girls are left at the gate of an orphanage when they are a week old. That God spoke to me over and over telling me my daughter was in China, that I was obedient to His calling in urging to my Christian husband to consider such an outrageous plan, and that he was lead to believe that this calling was from God and we made the trip to Hannah together, in every possible way. That he is now "Daddy" and that he is beyond "okay" with being the center of the universe to a precious little girl who joined our family through the miracle of adoption.
The fact is my daughter doesn't look like me. I know it. She knows it. At Disney they have refillable cups at the resorts to use in the food court. They were basically all the same cup with three different colors of lids/handles: black, red and yellow. Hannah picked the black because it matches her hair (she is all about the matching lately). I had to have the red one because I have red hair. Stacy got the yellow one because it matched his head.
Hannah loves to look at the scrapbook of our trip to China. We knows she is adopted and when she meets someone new one of the first things she says is that she was born in China. She doesn't understand all of what that means yet, but she knows as much as she can probably take in at three. But the need for me to finish working on her life book is more urgent. I'm going to start with an "ABC" life book that is age appropriate. It will be her book about her life and how she came to our family. It will be a way to get the discussion going, for her to get familiar with adoption language. A book that will tell her over and over how much we love her, how much God loves her and how much a part of her forever family she is. I have done some writing and planning for an older life book, to talk about birth parents and abandonment and Chinese laws, but I need to get something done now that can grow with her questions.
Do I need to acknowledge every rude/awkward/inappropriate comment a stranger (or acquaintance) makes? No. But I do need to be ready to answer Hannah's questions, which could come at any time. So I'm going to be ready. After all, that's what mothers (and former girl scouts) do.
End of Vacation-Day 6
We only had a couple of hours on our last day so we let Hannah pick her 3 favorite things, which were all in Magic Kingdom: Dumbo, Tea Cups, and Goofy's Roller coaster. So we hit those rides and then stopped for our one and only hot dog in our week at Disney. Stacy and Hannah watch some street show while I finally bought a few souvenirs, then it was back to the hotel to catch the bus to the airport.
This is Hannah, at noon, sleeping. I'd say that we finally wore her out, but once on the plane she developed a fever. At least she didn't catch our cold until the way home so it didn't spoil her first trip to Disney. She still talks about it and will each ad on the TV talks about Disney and asks when we can go again. I think for her it was just the right time to take her. And what is really special is what was most important to her, and what she had the hardest time with post vacation, is that her Daddy and Uncle Toby were with her all day, every day. Her love language does seem to be quality time and she enjoyed every minute of it. And so did we.
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